Personal: February 2004 Archives

I am not yet prepared to explain the significance of this posting, but it may raise a little chuckle amongst certain folk.

The sound clip is taken from one of our radio armageddon shows in 1991, and you can certainly tell the age of the show by noting the DJ who manages to fluff up his opening line, despite being well prepared in advance for what he was going to say.

Anyway, enjoy the Haggis Song!!!!

[ the haggis song was by the Krankies, that well known childrens tv comedy act of the 1980's and now international cabaret and panto stars - incidently, your editor went to see a tv recording of The Krankies Elektronik Komik in 1985 - see we all have skeletons in our closets! ]

Oh, if you're wondering what a haggis is made from:

Haggis is made from sheep's offal (or pluck). The windpipe, lungs, heart and liver of the sheep are boiled and then minced. This is mixed with beef suet and lightly toasted oatmeal. This mixture is placed inside the sheep's stomach, which is sewn closed. The resulting haggis is traditionally cooked by further boiling (for up to three hours) although the part-cooked haggis can be cooked in the oven which prevents the risk of bursting and spoiling.

[courtesy of ed.ac.uk's scottish food and drink webpage ]

I have a friend I used to see a lot, but since my marriage started going downhill I felt it best to stay out of the way of those friends that my wife was also friends with. It helped avoid any awkwardness and conflict of interest, so we haven't spoken much at all for the last 18 months or so.

We did happen to chat briefly last summer, when (as my memory serves me), she mentioned that it would be good when this was all over, so we could talk again, as things were awkward etc., etc.,

So I emailed her at the weekend giving her my new telephone number, and saying how it would be great to speak to her again.

Despite not getting a reply, or an email back, I heard on the grapevine she had received the email and "needed a week to think about it" before replying to me.

Now I ask you, what kind of friend needs 168 hours to think about it before getting back in contact. Well whilst pondering this, she replies with

Thank you for sending me your new tel no. Look forward to hearing from you sometime.

Is she being genuine? Why didn't she telephone me? Will I make a fool of myself if I call her?

Such minor things, but why do I fret so?

Yet another fine example of a complete misconception.

You see I live next door to a pub, and I've always assumed that the staff and clientele were a bunch of miserable sods, based on hell I don't even know what now, but it was the reason I've only gone in there once or twice in the last 2 1/2 years.

Well I had a long chat with the landlord this evening, and had a very interesting hour at the bar, with the result that I will no doubt be a frequent visitor in future. We spoke about the tragic and sudden death of his son, and my failed marriage, and it was heartening to hear him say that he sat on the fence on that subject.

A pub 15 metres from your front door, you can't do much better than that.

Spoke with the wife again earlier this evening. I'm glad we're able to talk without any animosity at the moment, and doesn't it just fuck me off that I seem to be getting on better with her now she is moved out. There are certain subjects she is still extremely cagey about (new address, home number), but I guess I can understand her reticence in passing this information on at the moment.

I'm still extremely cut up about the failure of our marriage, but am slowly coming to the realization that it really had no future. I'm just happy I now have her as a friend. I was actually interested (and I mean a genuine interest) in hearing what she's been getting up to at work recently.

[ oh this is just f'ing great. Found on the observer website ]

Divorced women are well-off and happy, claims a new survey. But for men it's anything but a liberating experience

When Kevin McDermott, 32, found himself separated and single, he couldn't cope. Thinking he was set up for life with a relationship and child, his break-up was a complete shock. 'I was devastated. It took me nearly 18 months to get over it,' he says. A recruitment consultant from Coventry, he had been with his partner for two years ('We had a baby so I regarded it as a marriage'). 'I was very surprised at how I reacted - I totally fell apart. I was depressed for a while and then I just went berserk, drinking and going out too much. I became a real arse, ended up losing my job, falling out with my parents, getting into debt. It was terrible.'

Kevin's experience is the flipside of the much-trumpeted Sarah (Single and Rich and Happy) phenomenon divorced women are currently enjoying, according to a recent survey by Datamonitor, 'Trends in Women's Lives'. Their research showed that post-marriage thirtysomething women are revelling in 'mass affluence' (much of it awarded by the divorce courts): they are over-flowing with self-esteem, love their new single status and spend their time shopping and partying. The official statistics for male divorce prospects, however, make depressing reading. If a man loses his wife, his chances of dying are 40 per cent higher over the next six months. Single men are three times more likely to die from cirrhosis of the liver than married men. Being unattached takes six years off a man's life expectancy.

I remembered this evening that old chestnut about the three most stressful things in life, namely:

1) Moving House
2) The death of a loved one
3) Divorce

Well I've moved house twice in the last 4 years (and the latter move was extremely stressing for various reasons). My best friend died and my marriage went down the toilet, indeed the lawyers are dictating to their secretaries the details of the divorce petition at the moment.

Now, I've tended to shy away from making comments about my private life on this site, if only because as an englishman I find it difficult to discuss personal matters, and therefore find it a little discomforting writing such material knowing that friends read this site.

Anyway, the purpose of this little posting was to thank those individuals for being there when needed, it's been a great help, even if you didn't know it. and if any of you mention anything to me in person, naturally I'll be forced to stoop down and rape you.

It hit me today like a bullet. I feel an emptyness that I've never experienced before. Not even after the death of a friend. I am standing on the edge of an abyss.

Enough of the cliches, but suffice to say it is extremely unpleasant. Nothing I can do will make the feeling go away, except I expect the passage of time.

The realisation that I miss my wife is hard enough to admit to myself and that I sat by and let things get to the point of no return is something that I'm just going to have to get used to.

'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.

Fuck that.

My cat charlie today was whisked to the vet after suffering what appeared to be a prolonged period of convulsions this afternoon. Whilst at the vet he was heavily sedated and put on a drip, but the vet doesn't believe that his chances are very good. The results of blood tests should give some news, but if he continues to suffer the same symptoms after regaining consciousness then it looks like Charlie won't be seeing the end of Wednesday.

I rescued him from wood green animal shelter some 8 years ago after he was placed there by a previous owner for biting a baby! He had been there longer than any other cat, but proved to be a very capable mouse catcher and playful animal.

The second of february is Groundhog Day, the day that Punxsutawney Phil, the world's most famous weather forcaster, predicts whether or not we'll have six more weeks of winter.

It never really occured to me until I read it in the paper today that not only is Punxsutawney Phil is actually real, but the traditions and locations in the film all exist. There really is a groundhog, his name is Punxsutawney Phil, he predicts the weather by looking for his shadow, and he does it at Gobbler's Knob (god knows who the search engines will bring in on that phrase).

I was delighted to discover that "Groundhog Day" is in the top 250 films of all time as ranked by the Internet Movie Database.

Groundhog day does/did have special significance for me, as it was the day I was married. Joking that this was because I woke up in the same hellish existance everyday once married showed me to be as much of a prognosticator as our furry little groundhog.

You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

Anyway, relive the fun of groundhog day with this rendition of "The Pennsylvania Polka"